i was pretty honest with myself before i went in to pregnancy and warned myself to expect the worst (this isn’t just pessimism–this is from 30 years of life experience and knowing that when you’re me, things usually don’t go according to the nice and easy path) and i know that it hasn’t been the worst from other horror stories i have heard, but i’m not exactly seeing the sunshine and roses in all of it either most of the time.
so let me attempt to list some of the bad and at the same time, give a glimpse of the good as a reminder to myself about the wonder in it as well instead of dwelling in my sinful tendency to whine.
–nausea. still hate you. i was hoping it’d magically disappear once i started the second trimester, but nope. still here as i begin week 15. mornings and early afternoons are fine—thank God as I can function normally through most of the day when I need the most energy teaching and i fit in most of my nutritious meals during this time. i come home though and everything in the kitchen seems disgusting. the fridge is stocked with delicious food from my mother in law but can’t even imagine heating it up to eat. thankfully though i am able to still eat a lot—as long as it’s not anything cooked from home. i was able to muster down 7-11 nachos the other night while i couldn’t stand the smell of paul eating delicious bulgogi, rice and veggies simply because it was prepared in our kitchen. what is wrong with me????
-constipation: yup. this sucks. i used to be regular but now i do celebratory victory dances when things go well in the bathroom.
-the questionable belly: i definitely do have a bump but it’s not large enough yet for people to know for certain whether it’s because i’m growing a four inch baby in there or whether i’ve gone overboard with my cheetos consumption. there are times too when i get alarmed myself when i see my belly start to resemble an inflated floatation device.
-some other negatives: my sense of smell is akin to that of a dog’s-things don’t smell nice most of time. passing gas happens a lot more often. gums are more sensitive. mouth has a metallic taste in the mornings. spider veins are starting to pop up. definitely more emotional.
-what housework?: i sometimes wonder the purpose of nausea and the only thing that makes an iota of sense to me is that it relieves pregnant mothers from doing anything at home. thank you dear husband for taking care of everything on the home front.
-sharing joy with people: it has been so amazing to share the news of pregnancy with family and friends. i also learned that if i wanted anything to spread quickly, you only have to tell a few teenagers. i was debating about how to tell my students at school….fit in a slide at the end of a powerpoint about electron configurations??? but i found out that i had no need to worry on how to deliver big news. i wound up telling a few students at the end of the day last week and by the next day, i think 90% of the student body knew as i had past students rush up to give me hugs saying they heard the good news on twitter and my current students were about as excited about the news as if though they found out i canceled the upcoming exam. and i’m pretty sure that they were either starting to get worried about my not jumping on the procreating bandwagon or they thought that things weren’t right because they seemed way too happy for me. one actually told me during a 1-1 tutoring session last year that i was getting old and needed to have babies soon. -_- but sharing the news with everyone was very special and exciting for me.
-sonograms: heartbeats. alien like pictures that only we would find beautiful. the technician getting the baby to move around for us. getting a glimpse of the baby growing has been my favorite part of pregnancy thus far. i can’t read the verse in Jeremiah the same anymore about God knowing him before he formed him in the womb and I can’t help but earnestly pray for the little one. i wish i can go in to have one done every time i need a pick me up as a reminder as to why i’m nauseous.
-blame it on the pregnancy: i’m emotional—pregnancy. i’m exhausted–pregnancy. i’m getting large—pregnancy. i want nachos goshdarnit—pregnancy. i can’t cook or do anything—pregnancy. i just slept for 10 hours—pregnancy. when else can all this be excused away with one word? never.
so i end this long post with some pictures from the week 13 sonogram:) we were told that baby han is a girl!!