halfway there-20 weeks!

i didn’t think that i would ever ever ever like pregnancy….before i got pregnant, i used to say that i wanted to put off the misery of pregnancy as long as possible. then when i got pregnant and nausea reared it’s ugly head, i didn’t believe any of the baby books or any of the reassuring moms who told me that things would get better once the first trimester passed, but heading in to week 20, i can honestly say that  pregnancy is growing on me (literally!). once the nausea stopped in week 16 and one of the largest sources of joy in life, aka eating, was restored, things have been pretty good.

a few updates: i really am getting large. my questionable belly has been replaced by quite the unquestionable protruding bulge and it’s weird, but i’m actually growing fond of it. i never thought i would like a part of my body in which “huuuuuge” would be a word often used by many to describe it, but my growing by the week belly is a reminder that little baby han is getting bigger and bigger and although it’s scary to see numbers on the scale that i’ve never seen before, it’s still pretty exciting. i can’t wait to start feeling the little one move.

maternity pants, where have you been my whole life? WHY DON’T ALL PANTS HAVE ELASTIC ON THEM??? i have happily skipped past the bellyband and straight over to maternity pants and i remember when i first held up a pair, i had a feeling of skepticism and doubt thinking that i was crossing over to the dark side in giving up what tiny iota of fashion sensibility i have, but oh my—i think these pants were created for me. one of the first things i used to do when i got home from work is to run upstairs to change into pants that have elastic on them. but now, thanks to maternity pants, i am ALWAYS wearing elastic waist pants.  thanks to pea in the pod clearance items, old navy, and my new found love of baby thrift stores, i’ve discovered a whole new wardrobe for less than $100 (okay…gift cards don’t count right??) after years of always trying to conceal the stomach that was always a little larger than it should have been with carefully picked out clothing items, being preggos gives a chance to flaunt it. i thought i would not enjoy getting dressed every morning with a small watermelon sized tummy to accommodate for, but it’s so large i can’t do anything about it anymore and now the world must come to terms with me and my largeness.

baby books. so now that i’ve come to terms with pregnancy and it doesn’t seem all too bad, the natural worrier in me has now moved on to the aftermath of pregnancy. my nighttime new yorker reading has been replaced by a stack of baby books on my nightstand that i’ve been almost dreading to read. i’ve gone through the pregnancy books pretty happily, but now the ones that freak me out are the ones about what to do when the little one gets here. up to a month ago, i just knew that babies hated sleeping and that my life was going to be pretty miserable from sleep deprivation once the little one arrived, but now words like attachment parenting and baby wise are starting to take on some meaning. what’s worse though is getting through a reassuring book about which method is best that and then reading the amazon reviews of parents either saying that their baby is an olympic gold medalist sleeper who will one day win a nobel prize or that the methods recommended caused ruin upon their family lives and their child is now going to see a therapist to undo the damage done upon him. i stayed up until 12 on a weeknight the other night wide-eyed and terribly confused reading the stupid amazon reviews after i finished a book. (for this teacher who goes to bed by 10, this is considered late!!) eh, i guess we’ll never know what’s best until the baby actually gets here and either way, we’ll be so sleep deprived and exhausted that it won’t even matter.

we had our 20 week sonogram and little baby han is doing fine-hard to believe but she’s already 10 inches from head to toe!  some more moving around, more fast heartbeats, and of course some more tears shed by me. here are some more alien pictures of our little girl if you want to check them out 🙂

20 weeks-1

yup, she’s definitely a girl!

20 weeks-2

she’s camera shy (unlike her mom)

20 weeks-3

her head is so much larger than from the week 13 sonogram

Esther--20 weekshere’s me at week 20 (wish i took more bump photos, but kinda wasn’t in to the whole pregnant thing before. this was right before david and michelle’s beautiful wedding yesterday!)

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