the little girl has turned one…..2 months ago!

ha–so things have been on the busier end of life. but i have been meaning and meaning to get a post out, that i decided tonight at 10:00pm on wednesday night right before i have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow morning for work, i need to crank one out.

LALALALALLALALALALALA i can’t believe time has gone by so fast LALLALALALLAA she has grown up so much LALALLALALALA wow.

that was my obligatory “evelyn has grown up so much” sentence that i put in to every post. i really can’t get myself around it as to be honest, it does astonish me every few days or so at the new things she is doing that she never did before and how quickly she is learning new things. she’s a toddler ya’ll!!! even her little rolls of baby fat that enveloped her sweet wonderful thighs are starting to disappear and she is starting to look more like an actual girl rather than a very chubby fat baby boy oddly wearing pink and headbands.

i can’t believe we got through her first birthday party. once i got started planning, i became esther-stay-at-home-mom on steroids. i was certain at one point that the first birthday-dohl party was specifically designed so that moms like me who love getting stuff done can feel a sense of accomplishment at really stupid useless things that i only would appreciate such as spending hours and hours rolling darn paper crepe roses and hot glue gunning stupid beans onto a roll of paper towels. ah—such useless crafts that i so secretly loved doing. who am i kidding, i loooooved planning. ha :p.

then we got through this first month of my going back to work as a full time chemistry teacher. this was what i was really trying to wrap my brain around the past few weeks so that i could reflect on this whole mom business and working craziness. let me tell you that the first week back at school which involved just useless staff meetings and time to prep and get ready for the school year was a WALK IN THE PARK—not even any regular park, but a teeny tiny park plopped haphazardly in front of an apartment complex that would take less than 5 minutes to stroll through–compared to being a stay at home mom. i’m sorry, but having the luxury to eat lunch for a whole hour and sit there on my computer for hours to get my own work done was FANTASTIC i tell you. i wondered at first where i could find such a job as it was delightfully easy to be back at work compared to staying at home all day taking care of a child. i’m sorry—but i shed no tears upon my first day of work. instead, i raised my fist in the air as i backed out of the garage and whispered “freeeedoooommmmm” and grinned the whole peaceful car ride with no one to worry about except myself and my coffee and my morning dose of npr.

however, this high was soon tempered by my second week of work when my real teaching job began with my fresh batch of 190 high school students. on my feet the whole darn day, lecturing for 5 hours at a time, shoving food down my mouth within the 20 minutes of lunchtime that i had while trying to help so many needy students with so many never ending questions, bringing home stacks and stacks of grading, setting up lab after lab….oh my goodness. i completely had forgotten how crazy teaching was. i’m sorry, but being away from it a whole year and then coming back to it brought a completely new fresh lens on the craziness of a typical day of teaching. my typical day consists of getting up at 5:30, leaving home by 6:15am, getting to school and getting my lessons and everything prepped for the day, teaching my 5 classes of regular chem and honors chem, staying after school to get work done so that i don’t bring so much home with me to get done and tutoring students, leaving work at 4:00, coming home and playing with evelyn, going to the gym with my mother in law and e for an hour, coming home and eating dinner, getting in some grading/lesson prep before it’s time to go to bed and then i’m in bed by 9:30 so i could get rest. and repeat. i was sooooo exhausted the first week that i wondered how i was going to have the stamina to make it through the year.

buuuut, nearly a month has gone by and i’m fine and well. still exhausted, yes, but my body doesn’t feel like it wants to go on strike. i really honestly do love my job. it’s hectic crazy from the time the first bell rings to the last bell that i hear where i get to sit at my desk probably for the first time that day to even look at my cell phone or check my email, but time does pass by so fast that everything is mostly a blur. i do admittedly have a stack of labs that have built up some serious mileage points as it travels with me back and forth from school and home, but even so, i feel really good feeling somewhat organized and feeling like i know that i’m doing at least for the week with my lesson plans. i get tingles of joy on some days seeing students understand concepts from trying out new activities that i designed or seeing students who looked like they don’t give a darn suddenly start trying to learn. all this complaining i did earlier was just to really make the point clear that despite how hard it is on some days, i feel so privileged to work with high schoolers teaching a subject that is challenging for them. really thankful for having a job that i actually love….not something i have to do to earn money. because honestly, let’s be real. the pay sucks for my job.

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